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NauenThen

Poem of the Week

He didn't mind dying but he minded leaving me, I think.

My Cat Buster

 

 

I.

Buster curling on himself

a disappearing wisp

tomorrow he'll die

 

Buster still as loving

wanting my hand as he goes

on ahead

 

Buster the large-souled kindness

Buster the nonjudgmental

Buster the beloved

 

tomorrow

you

die

 

 

II.

I carried him in my arms

wrapped in a towel

he couldn't walk

I couldn't

 

put him in the carrier

& let him bang against me

it was warm out & sunny

he blinked

 

& turned

his face

to the sun

& smiled

 

even dying

he had a kitten

love for fresh

air & adventure

 

& then he looked at me

he stared in my eyes

& we told each other it was OK,

this parting,

 

that we were grateful for love & care

that I was his & he was mine

& the rest didn't matter.

He stared at me: Will you let me go?

 

I don't want to

but there's no body left

to hold his love.

Buster leaves on his own terms

 

He decided how it was to be

His body threw him into spasm

& he was gone

someday

 

this will be 20 years ago

& 100 years ago & I will

be forgotten

Buster is in my heart

 

III.

I call for him though I know he's not there

I look on his chair & at his dish

my hand rolls to his spot

his smile in the sunshine

despite the hard work of dying

such grace

to take every bit of life

& all I did was give him treats &

all he did was love me

& show me

how to be with him

Buster the purringest cat

Buster the accepting

Buster who loved me

 

it's lonesome in our house

 

 

[[[not sure this is ready but I need to get it away from me]]]

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