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Monday Quote

Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.

~ H. G. Wells 


I was thinking of how tired I am of being indignant. Time to hang up the halo. 

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From the vault

Joe Carey sent me this. I'd entirely forgotten this poster—but not New York Is Missing, a six-page novel I wrote with Maggie Dubris. I remember Steve in a bald wig as Mayor Kroch. Tim Milk & Johnny Stanton were supposed to be dancing boys, but Johnny & I had a big fight right before & he didn't show up & Tim wouldn't wear the little short-shorts alone.

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I loved the holidays this year, the whole month of them seemed to be a rolling epic through stages of life & states of mind, from Rosh Hashanah, the birthday of the world, through the 10 days of self-reflection, to temporary outdoor life, to rejoicing in our Torah. I don't always relish them but this year I was able to relax into them & feel a part of it all. I got to hang out without deadlines, make goals for improvement, eat on the roof of the Y....


But I can't say I'm not glad they're over! 

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What bird is it?

Are you a sparrow, little one? 



on a pipe outside

I give them



to entice & cheer

until an adolescent rat

comes out of


my wall & eats

their food

the birds



me except when I

give them peanut butter cocoa puffs

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Buster in his Halloween crab hat. Not liking it but OK with whatever silliness I force upon him. He is such an enlightened little being. 


Also, I seem to have lost my mind. I now have tickets for three trips in the next 4 months, to St. Paul, Barcelona, & Edinburgh. 

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My dojo is moving, after 43 years in the same location. There were a lot of people at the last-ever black belt promotion at West 23rd Street. 

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Vow in Old Age


I will never


I swear


talk about

my health problems. torture


I'll stay


how boring & demoralizing

to hear from anyone

who isn't Susie Timmons


my cat doesn't complain

my husband doesn't complain

my neck wobbles—that's OK!

I can't stay awake

O Susie, tell me your troubles!


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Yom Kippur

On Tuesday I got ready for Yom Kippur. On Tuesday night & all day Wednesday I atoned, prayed, ponderd, fasted. (Very meaningful! Best holiday in years!) On Thursday I caught up with as much of my work & to-do list as I could. Today looks to be about the same. The editing work I've been doing is so intensive that I don't have much brainwill left to talk about the holiday. Nothing out of th ordinary except to be immersed the whole 26 hours. 


Here's Buster, relaxing atop me. 

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Monday Quote


Action and feeling go together…by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling.

~ William James, Talks to Teachers on Psychology and to Students on Some of Life's Ideals



This is very Jewish, I think. Before receiving the 10 Commandments, the people said, We will obey & we will hear. I had an argument with a friend once. She said, I can't do anything I don't believe. I said, I can't believe anything I don't do. 


Doing leads to belief & to feeling. If I act kindly towards you, I'll end up liking you.


Yom Kippur is a day away so of course I'm thinking about how to do better. 

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So happy! Buster has been taking thyroid meds & in 3 weeks he's easily gained a pound, I'd bet—a lot for a being that was down to 8.1 pounds. Now what he eats stays on him, rather than peeing it all out. His eyes were sunk in his head he was so dehydrated & he barely could get off the floor. Now his behavior is beginning to match his kitten face. He leaps & trots & meets me at the door. Also, he is so in love with us. I can barely get him off my lap. We haven't been back to the vet, not for another couple weeks, but it's so clear that the meds & subcutaneous fluids are doing him a world of good. 

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An Old Story


when I didn't give the young man money

he said is it because I'm black

& you a old white lady

& I said that's right fuck off


& when I told this guy I know

he told me a story about a beautiful girl

he once lived with who made the thugs

on 8th & B back off by screaming


you fucking pussies

her tininess making her curses louder

he found a story of his own to top, correct & instruct me

fuck off, you fucking pussy

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Stealing this story but it's too good not to! 


So my friend's 10-year-old kid just got her period, freaking out the dad no end. He was, she said, frantically googling and at one point said in front of my friend and her sister, "It could last SEVEN DAYS!"


Their conclusion: The most perfect example of mansplaining in the universe. 

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