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NauenThen

Whew!

I loved the holidays this year, the whole month of them seemed to be a rolling epic through stages of life & states of mind, from Rosh Hashanah, the birthday of the world, through the 10 days of self-reflection, to temporary outdoor life, to rejoicing in our Torah. I don't always relish them but this year I was able to relax into them & feel a part of it all. I got to hang out without deadlines, make goals for improvement, eat on the roof of the Y....

 

But I can't say I'm not glad they're over! 

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What bird is it?

Are you a sparrow, little one? 
 

Sparrow

 

on a pipe outside

I give them

crumbs

 

to entice & cheer

until an adolescent rat

comes out of

 

my wall & eats

their food

the birds

 

forgive

me except when I

give them peanut butter cocoa puffs

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Buster

Buster in his Halloween crab hat. Not liking it but OK with whatever silliness I force upon him. He is such an enlightened little being. 

 

Also, I seem to have lost my mind. I now have tickets for three trips in the next 4 months, to St. Paul, Barcelona, & Edinburgh. 

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Promotion

My dojo is moving, after 43 years in the same location. There were a lot of people at the last-ever black belt promotion at West 23rd Street. 

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Poem

Vows in Old Age

 

I swear

 

I will never

 

talk about

my health problems. torture

me

I'll stay

mum

how boring & demoralizing

to hear from anyone

who isn't Susie Timmons

 

my cat doesn't complain

my husband doesn't complain (I married a suitable man)

my neck wobbles—that's OK!

I can't stay awake (no one can tell)

O Susie, tell me your troubles!

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Yom Kippur

On Tuesday I got ready for Yom Kippur. On Tuesday night & all day Wednesday I atoned, prayed, ponderd, fasted. (Very meaningful! Best holiday in years!) On Thursday I caught up with as much of my work & to-do list as I could. Today looks to be about the same. The editing work I've been doing is so intensive that I don't have much brainwill left to talk about the holiday. Nothing out of th ordinary except to be immersed the whole 26 hours. 

 

Here's Buster, relaxing atop me. 

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Monday Quote

 

Action and feeling go together…by regulating the action, which is under the more direct control of the will, we can indirectly regulate the feeling.

~ William James, Talks to Teachers on Psychology and to Students on Some of Life's Ideals

 

 

This is very Jewish, I think. Before receiving the 10 Commandments, the people said, We will obey & we will hear. I had an argument with a friend once. She said, I can't do anything I don't believe. I said, I can't believe anything I don't do. 

 

Doing leads to belief & to feeling. If I act kindly towards you, I'll end up liking you.

 

Yom Kippur is a day away so of course I'm thinking about how to do better. 

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Buster

So happy! Buster has been taking thyroid meds & in 3 weeks he's easily gained a pound, I'd bet—a lot for a being that was down to 8.1 pounds. Now what he eats stays on him, rather than peeing it all out. His eyes were sunk in his head he was so dehydrated & he barely could get off the floor. Now his behavior is beginning to match his kitten face. He leaps & trots & meets me at the door. Also, he is so in love with us. I can barely get him off my lap. We haven't been back to the vet, not for another couple weeks, but it's so clear that the meds & subcutaneous fluids are doing him a world of good. 

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Poem

An Old Story

 

when I didn't give the young man money

he said is it because I'm black

& you a old white lady

& I said that's right fuck off

 

& when I told this guy I know

he told me a story about a beautiful girl

he once lived with who made the thugs

on 8th & B back off by screaming

 

you fucking pussies

her tininess making her curses louder

he found a story of his own to top, correct & instruct me

fuck off, you fucking pussy

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Mansplaining!

Stealing this story but it's too good not to! 

 

So my friend's 10-year-old kid just got her period, freaking out the dad no end. He was, she said, frantically googling and at one point said in front of my friend and her sister, "It could last SEVEN DAYS!"

 

Their conclusion: The most perfect example of mansplaining in the universe. 

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