These last few weeks have been the first time in my life that I barely wrote. My feeling is that I barely did anything but first sit with Johnny for hours on end, then help him (shop, feed, fetch), then walk with him slowly & slightly less slowly. In reality, I did some money work, did a Read More
NauenThen
Mining the past
May 16, 2016
I must be about 14, because Varda looks about 5.
Every time a picture I don't remember turns up, I think about how much and how little I remember. For instance, I remember a black-&-white houndstooth corduroy jumper that I made in Home Ec. I used to roll it up after I left the house—we were obsessed with skirt lengths. I remember a pair of black pumps that cost $17 & how mad my Dad was that I spent so much. They were the shape of all my favorite shoes my whole life, to this day—rounded or squared-off toe, simple. I remember a chunky mustard-yellow sweater.
But I have no memory of this terrific dress! And no memory of looking exactly like this, or my expression or the event or the atmosphere. Is that still me? Am I still her? Read More
But I have no memory of this terrific dress! And no memory of looking exactly like this, or my expression or the event or the atmosphere. Is that still me? Am I still her? Read More
England! Wales!
May 14, 2016
Even though I've been back a couple of weeks, I think I'm going to talk about my trip now. So many events have whirled me away from that vacation but I still do have thoughts about it.
One is how happy it makes me to know all I have to do is buy a Read More
One is how happy it makes me to know all I have to do is buy a Read More
Little girls
May 13, 2016
Better news on the Johnny front: everything is functioning better in his body, from legs to back to digestion (a big one).
Also, the hospital social worker convinced me we wouldn't owe $400,000 at the end of this—that we would owe little or nothing. I don't know where I got that figure. It reminds me of my 20s, where I thought everything that wasn't groceries cost $100— Read More
Also, the hospital social worker convinced me we wouldn't owe $400,000 at the end of this—that we would owe little or nothing. I don't know where I got that figure. It reminds me of my 20s, where I thought everything that wasn't groceries cost $100— Read More
Stoic but suffering
May 12, 2016
This is so much more harrowing than I expected. I had gotten the idea that surgery for spinal stenosis meant a couple days in the hospital & then he'd be dancing like a teenager.
He's been there since Monday & no discharge in sight.
I'm happy to sit with him all day. It's like a little honeymoon to be alone together in his hospital bubble. He can't go out so why would I. I hate leaving, I hate being home without him. Last night I thought I heard him coming into our apartment & was so happy.
I remember the bad three months when he was in Bellevue & then rehab. While NYU Medical is a much better hospital, one difference makes it harder: last time I had insurance & legal things to get worked up about & deal with. Now everything is taken care of so I find myself anxious about Read More
He's been there since Monday & no discharge in sight.
I'm happy to sit with him all day. It's like a little honeymoon to be alone together in his hospital bubble. He can't go out so why would I. I hate leaving, I hate being home without him. Last night I thought I heard him coming into our apartment & was so happy.
I remember the bad three months when he was in Bellevue & then rehab. While NYU Medical is a much better hospital, one difference makes it harder: last time I had insurance & legal things to get worked up about & deal with. Now everything is taken care of so I find myself anxious about Read More
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Wrist watch
May 11, 2016
It's been sore in certain gestures & when I pick up a book.
Nidaime had the same symptom, except it was picking up his son's trumpet case. He was wearing a brace & had gone to the doc, so I figured I didn't have to. Probably a little tear or fracture. We both assume it's a Read More
Nidaime had the same symptom, except it was picking up his son's trumpet case. He was wearing a brace & had gone to the doc, so I figured I didn't have to. Probably a little tear or fracture. We both assume it's a Read More
Spring?!?
May 10, 2016
Finally I got to sit outside in the sunshine, among the plants & birds of the little park on 6th St between A & B. The unrelieved gray of the last week had been getting me down, that's for sure. Everyone I know thinks they have cancer or pneumonia but it's really Seattle Syndrome.
Also, Johnny's operation went great. The surgeon said there should be room in the spine the size of your thumb for all the nerves to pass through, & because of growths & a herniated disk/disc, Johnny’s was the size of a pencil point. No wonder he was in so much pain! But his wound is "clean, dry & intact," and he looks great. So relieved. Read More
Also, Johnny's operation went great. The surgeon said there should be room in the spine the size of your thumb for all the nerves to pass through, & because of growths & a herniated disk/disc, Johnny’s was the size of a pencil point. No wonder he was in so much pain! But his wound is "clean, dry & intact," and he looks great. So relieved. Read More
My dad, my husband
May 9, 2016
On what would have been my father's 110th birthday, I am headed to NYUM to fret while Johnny has surgery for spinal stenosis. Daddy would have perhaps been a tiny bit miffed that Johnny was stealing his birthday thunder. I hope it being his birthday means good luck for the operation.
I'm writing this on Sunday; it will post all on its own tomorrow. Read More
I'm writing this on Sunday; it will post all on its own tomorrow. Read More
Spring Thing fling
May 8, 2016
Hit the Poetry Project's Spring Thing last night with my old friend Steve & his brother Mike, who are visiting from South Carolina. This is Mike's first-ever visit to New York & he was pretty sure it was about as memorable a cultural event as he is likely to see this week. Hard to hear the poetry but I liked watching videos through several gauze screens, which softened & magicked each image.
Also, Steve & Mike saw a raccoon in Central Park. I've lived here 40 years & never seen one & he scores his first time out. Read More
Also, Steve & Mike saw a raccoon in Central Park. I've lived here 40 years & never seen one & he scores his first time out. Read More
Daniel Berrigan
May 6, 2016
I admire Daniel Berrigan, who died a few days ago, in the same ways everyone has been talking about: his tireless activism for peace, his lack of materialism (he seemed to have owned not much more than a couple of shirts & a backpack), his willingness to act on and go to jail for his convictions.
But I will say the fly in the ointment, as Read More
But I will say the fly in the ointment, as Read More
Gray Thursday
May 5, 2016
Wanted to lie down all day with a book. Nonetheless, I did some work, went to class, went uptown for a couple of hours where I'm helping this guy organize his files, & now headed off to Prose Pros, for the penultimate reading of our 9th season (Susie Mee & Tiphanie Yanique). I saw brilliant yellow Read More
May 4
May 4, 2016
Thinking as I do every year about Kent State, the 4 students murdered & 9 others shot by the National Guard on campus during a protest, & Nixon quoted in the next day's Times: "This should remind us all once again that when dissent turns to violence it invites tragedy." I still cry angry tears at that lie & that tragedy. Despite having had worse presidents, Nixon was the one who began the ruin & despair so many of us still feel & the one I will always hate & detest most. Read More
Back: sort of
May 3, 2016
Funny to be off blogging for so long. Even though every day I think of something I want to say here, I've had a hard time getting back in the groove, post-vacation. My daily to-do chart, which includes things like eat vegetables and laugh—in other words, not very demanding—has gone largely unchecked Read More
Vacay!
April 8, 2016
Leaving Sunday for 10 days in the UK. I'll be visiting cousins in Liverpool, Wales (Cardiff, Penarth, Swansea) & London. Mostly I'll be sitting around drinking tea & worming ancient lurid gossip out of everyone but I have some sightseeing planned too: the house my mother grew up in, 325 Walton Lane, Liverpool (very pretty on Google maps) & where her dad is buried (across Walton Lane in historic Anfield Cemetery). My cousin Hazel is taking me with her group to visit Lewis Carroll's childhood home & I will try to get to St Fagan's open-air folk museum in Cardiff. I will try to write one more time before I go but if not, back her on or about the 22nd. Read More
Spirit
April 7, 2016
Having sympathetic outrage on behalf of Maggie, who got a cheap ticket to Detroit on Spirit Airlines. Not really so cheap, since everything except the seat costs extra: $100 for a carry-on bag (why? no one is being paid to handle it so that's pure profit), water, they even charge $10 to Read More
The birthday curse
April 6, 2016
Happy 131st birthday, Grandma Alice! I can't ever not know birthdays but they're as bad as Monkees & Herman's Hermits songs for filling my brain pan.
Hey astrology peeps
April 5, 2016
What goes retrograde & messes everything up? Mercury, right? The moon?
Well, today was wack! Or whack! Which is it? (See what I mean?)
My day included a misdelivered package that I had to track down the UPS guy to get, which took 4 phone calls & a run down to 3rd St. I lost 2 socks in the laundry. There were work miscommunications
Then someone was telling a story in the lockerroom about being a "weirdo magnet" Read More
Well, today was wack! Or whack! Which is it? (See what I mean?)
My day included a misdelivered package that I had to track down the UPS guy to get, which took 4 phone calls & a run down to 3rd St. I lost 2 socks in the laundry. There were work miscommunications
Then someone was telling a story in the lockerroom about being a "weirdo magnet" Read More
New store
April 4, 2016
TLC is right around the corner on 2nd St, just opened a couple of days ago. We went in to see if he had cousherie, an Egyptian dish of noodles, rice, garbanzos, & onions that I haven't had since the restaurant up the block closed. He was Indian, however, so no kusheri (or however the hell it's spelled). Very pleased we had come in.
It seemed curated, like an art gallery. Like a Warhol, Ann said. Read More
It seemed curated, like an art gallery. Like a Warhol, Ann said. Read More
Oe ti'n siarad Cymraeg?
April 3, 2016
Apparently not.
I naively agreed to a meet-up of Welsh learners, lulled by one of them saying she had a 6-month-old baby and hadn't really been keeping up. Ha! Joan & Joanie were fluent! Turns out they've both been to Welsh boot camp, a week of speaking only Welsh, and Joanie even Read More
I naively agreed to a meet-up of Welsh learners, lulled by one of them saying she had a 6-month-old baby and hadn't really been keeping up. Ha! Joan & Joanie were fluent! Turns out they've both been to Welsh boot camp, a week of speaking only Welsh, and Joanie even Read More
Fabulous Friday: my day
April 1, 2016
72°, first of all. Finished a bunch of small but pressing projects in the a.m. Did many errands, efficiently: paid office rent, signed the Poetry Project's rent check, bought new underwear, had pierogi at B&H, where Ola, who is Polish, was appalled that I ordered them boiled not fried. She also made me a juice with a little too much Read More
Whew!
March 31, 2016
Something has been wrong with my blog/site the last few days, in case anyone has been wondering where I've been. Now it's 5 o'clock on Thursday & I have to leave to teach in just a minute. I did think about writing something ahead of time, separately, but, well, I didn't. I can tell you, however, that I finally figured out that the cold that didn't get better or worse for 10 days was ALLERGIES & I am finally feeling a little more human. Tomorrow it's back to blogging for real. Read More
Pre-raphaelite sisters
March 27, 2016
Classic illustration of little sister looking up to & annoying older sister. (Why does she have to do everything I do?) The patterns & roles are so obvious here. S can climb a tree. Part of her enjoyment is that J can't yet.
Not enough!
March 25, 2016
Just back from a four-hour lunch & talk with my old friend (from high school, not OLD) Bessie. I have a lot of friends & each one is unique & wonderful, but there is something in going back as far as high school with someone that makes it pointless to embellish or hide. Or maybe Read More
Still got it
March 24, 2016
I was on the subway & a handsome young man was making eye contact. Just as I was saying to myself, Oh yeah, I've still got it! he said, "Ma'am? Would you like a seat?"
Sea shanty
March 23, 2016
Thinking about Lisbon & the one place there that I really loved, the tower of Henry the Navigator, where he watched his ships sail away (& used Chaucer's "Treatise on the Astrolabe" to send them safely south) made me think about shanties. My people come from England, and although I don't know that we ever had sailors in the family, I grew up singing "Blow the Man Down," "What shall we do with the drunken sailor," and my favorite, "A Capital Ship" (for an ocean trip was the walloping window blind... I'm off to my love with a boxing glove 10,000 miles away...). Read More
A poem from the past II
March 22, 2016
Here's another poem that turned up while I've been going through files. This one I've edited from the version I first wrote 25 years ago.
Away Game
the Lisbon of Henry the Navigator
cobblestones, tiles with the colors of isolation,
baleful pigs on a truck
romantic Lisbon on the Atlantic
where endeth land and where beginneth …
but
no one to talk to
blisters (why these shoes?)
alone, travel’s effort not adventure
hotel TV: smarmy British game show
Bogart flick with Portuguese subtitles
& suddenly baseball
heaves into sight
so unexpected it Read More
Away Game
the Lisbon of Henry the Navigator
cobblestones, tiles with the colors of isolation,
baleful pigs on a truck
romantic Lisbon on the Atlantic
where endeth land and where beginneth …
but
no one to talk to
blisters (why these shoes?)
alone, travel’s effort not adventure
hotel TV: smarmy British game show
Bogart flick with Portuguese subtitles
& suddenly baseball
heaves into sight
so unexpected it Read More
Famous friends
March 21, 2016
The Newly Famous Friend I know is not necessarily the NFF the public does. That people are impressed that I even know this person is just a trick of timing—we were young together. It's as though your accountant's secretary is Art Buchwald's sister—it doesn't mean anything.
Some of, a lot of what people say about her, I recognize, but even when Read More
Some of, a lot of what people say about her, I recognize, but even when Read More
The world's smallest disco
March 20, 2016
Johnny brought home a disco lightbulb. "Someone threw it out, and it was brand-new!" he marveled. Buster stood a few feet from the bathroom staring at the hippety-hoppety reds and blues then backed away. We jump, bump, & laugh.
A poem from the past
March 18, 2016
Been finding some treasures & near misses. I know that all the good ones must be in books, so anything that's better than awful is fun to find.
Before and After
I used to walk around
but now I sit around
I used to lie around
but now I lie a lot
I used to tie my shoes
but now I wear star socks
I used to drive a car
but now I park my car
I used to have a cat
now I have a canary
I used to be a book
but now I am an exit
I used to be Boston
but now I’m Elizabeth
New Jersey
I used to be a shortstop
but now I’m underhanded
I used to be a Patsy
but now I’m Ruby
3/85 Read More
Before and After
I used to walk around
but now I sit around
I used to lie around
but now I lie a lot
I used to tie my shoes
but now I wear star socks
I used to drive a car
but now I park my car
I used to have a cat
now I have a canary
I used to be a book
but now I am an exit
I used to be Boston
but now I’m Elizabeth
New Jersey
I used to be a shortstop
but now I’m underhanded
I used to be a Patsy
but now I’m Ruby
3/85 Read More
My 10 worst ideas
March 17, 2016
* 7 a.m. Pilates session.
Oh, that's funny, I can't think of any others.
Oh, that's funny, I can't think of any others.