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We decided to play hooky & see the new Tina Fey movie, rushing to make the 10:45 show. (Half price! $8 + 29¢ tax.) Noticing that she'd given us tickets for the 11:45, we went back down many flights of stairs, only to learn that the 10:45 referred to p.m. Since we were so crazy early, we decided we'd watch the first 15 minutes of Zoolander. After sitting through 18 minutes of incredibly loud, incredibly stupid previews, all of which were for animated movies, the feature began.

I didn't realize Zoolander was a Disney movie, I said.


The minute the movie started, we realized we weren't at Zoolander but Zootopia, a cartoon—which explained why all the previews were for cartoons.

OK, let's go watch 15 minutes of How to Be Singlewith Rebel Wilson. Dumb, predictable, but Rebel Wilson has charisma to burn. But dumb, predictable, and oh, right: loud. Frenetic was the style of all the movies or at least previews we saw.

Finally, headaches looming (did I mention how frigging LOUD it was?), we staggered into Whiskey Tango Foxtrot at last. So loud the sound was distorted to the point that we couldn't understand a lot of what was being said. Watched for less than 20 minutes, saw a dozen inconsistencies, two dozen implausibilities. Walked out.

90 minutes at the theater, 60 minutes of which was LOUD, frenetic, previews. I still have a headache.
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