So I'm on a new health plan, through Medicare, & had a brainstorm to sign up for a geriatrician. That way, I figured, I'd ease into old age. Wouldn't they be happy to have a young old person to break in right? Well, it didn't work out that way. Everyone I called said, You're too young—you have to be 75, & cracked up. So I ended up with a doctor named Eleanor who I can't even see till the middle of May. What the hey.